Copied from a Facebook friend (who had copied from someone else... so I have no idea who originally came up with it) - I hope it makes you giggle like it did me...
Nailed it! Well, sort of...
So, this should make you think, laugh first!!!
Here are the official Coronavirus guidelines:
1. Basically, you can't leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then you can.
2. Masks are useless, but maybe you have to wear one, it can save you, it is useless, but maybe it is mandatory as well.
3. Stores are closed, except those that are open.
4. You should not go to hospitals unless you have to go there. Same
applies to doctors, you should only go there in case of emergency,
provided you are not too sick.
5. This virus is deadly but still not too scary, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster.
6. Gloves won't help, but they can still help.
7. Everyone needs to stay HOME, but it's important to GO OUT.
8. There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarket, but there are
many things missing when you go there in the evening, but not in the
morning. Sometimes.
9. The virus has no effect on children except those it affects.
10. Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that tested
positive in Belgium in February when no one had been tested, plus a few
tigers here and there…
11. You will have many symptoms when you are
sick, but you can also get sick without symptoms, have symptoms without
being sick, or be contagious without having symptoms. Oh, my..
12.
In order not to get sick, you have to eat well and exercise, but eat
whatever you have on hand and it's better not to go out, well, but no…
13. It's better to get some fresh air, but you get looked at very wrong
when you get some fresh air, and most importantly, you don't go to
parks or walk. But don’t sit down, except that you can do that now if
you are old, but not for too long or if you are pregnant (but not too
old).
14. You can't go to retirement homes, but you have to take care of the elderly and bring food and medication.
15. If you are sick, you can't go out, but you can go to the pharmacy.
16. You can get restaurant food delivered to the house, which may have
been prepared by people who didn't wear masks or gloves. But you have to
have your groceries decontaminated outside for 3 hours. Pizza too?
17. Every disturbing article or disturbing interview starts with "I don't want to trigger panic, but…"
18. You can't see your older mother or grandmother, but you can take a taxi and meet an older taxi driver.
19. You can walk around with a friend but not with your family if they don't live under the same roof.
20. You are safe if you maintain the appropriate social distance, but
you can’t go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance.
21. The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours, no,
four, no, six, no, we didn't say hours, maybe days? But it takes a damp
environment. Oh no, not necessarily.
22. The virus stays in the air -
well no, or yes, maybe, especially in a closed room, in one hour a sick
person can infect ten, so if it falls, all our children were already
infected at school before it was closed. But remember, if you stay at
the recommended social distance, however in certain circumstances you
should maintain a greater distance, which, studies show, the virus can
travel further, maybe.
23. We count the number of deaths but we
don't know how many people are infected as we have only tested so far
those who were "almost dead" to find out if that's what they will die
of…
24. We have no treatment, except that there may be one that
apparently is not dangerous unless you take too much (which is the case
with all medications).
25. We should stay locked up until the virus
disappears, but it will only disappear if we achieve collective
immunity, so when it circulates… but we must no longer be locked up for
that?
