One year ago, we married at the International Linguistics Center near Dallas, Texas. We had no idea what the coming year was going to bring -- we are so thankful to have had each other during this unique year - shared burdens are so much lighter than bearing them alone!
When we look back on the year, we sometimes feel like we were in one of those movies or nightmares where disasters happen just after you pass... like you drive over a bridge and right after you finish crossing, the bridge falls into the river behind you. We are aware that there were (are?) some who thought that we were marrying too soon after the death of our late spouses, but we had sought God and Godly counsel and felt that it was God's will for us to join our lives -- and, in hindsight, had we waited, we may not have been *able* to get married until much later in the year, if at all. County offices in Texas that granted marriage licenses closed just a few weeks after we got our license and remained closed for several months. The campus on which we were volunteering and on which we got married was closed to entry for all but essential individuals, and still remains limited in its access. Even a small group (the 20 folks who celebrated with us) would not have been able to gather to celebrate with us.
The grief and pain that we feel for the loss of Sue and Dwayne is still with us - even in the joy of being together. In the memories that Facebook shows of posts from previous years, it showed me that 2 years ago today (2019), Dwayne and I were rejoicing that one of the reports that the doctor brought in to us indicated that his cancer cells were dying -- tears came to my eyes as I recalled the joy that we felt that day, not realizing that the death of the cancer cells would release sepsis into Dwayne's system that would ultimately take him away, only a few days later. While we were in Yuma, Carl grieved Sue as day of her birth was January 20, and he recalled the love and joy that they shared and which he now misses. He had a zoom call with his children, and while he enjoyed hearing their memories, he struggled to share as he knew that he would "lose it" as the grief would overwhelm him.
How can we have joy in having each other with sorrow for the loss of our spouses that enables us to be together? I can't answer that, but only say that it is what we feel -- so grateful for each other, to have been together, even in the midst of grieving.
If you want to see some pictures from our wedding, they can be found here: https://journeyinamazinggrace.blogspot.com/2020/02/did-you-miss-palindrome-day.html
Happy Anniversary to us!
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